Narcissism can be measured. The high end of the scale and the low end both represent abnormal states. Those at the highest end are dysfunctional (narcissistic personality disorder); their extreme self-centeredness and tendency to treat others as mere object from which to receive adoration are so bad as to limit their lives.
Good leaders often have higher-than-average narcissistic traits, but not so high as to be blatantly dysfunctional (yes, exceptions occur). Why would this be? I've come to understand narcissism is a sort of "psychic fuel." It takes a certain amount of energy to overcome adversity, failure, opposition, and yet to keep trying. One has to be convinced not just that I can do this, but that I can do this. The world needs ME to do this task.With the good (lots of psychic fuel for accomplishing hard things) comes the bad:
- Susceptibility to flattery
- Thinking you were more successful than you really were
- Devaluing contributions by others
- Failure to include on the team others with a strong sense of worth and who do not worship you
- Need to be involved with (or control) all aspects of operations
- Inability to develop others, to mentor and guide them to success
- Failure in succession planning
- ...in short, everything a servant leader isn't.
Or do I fall back on Popeye? "I am what I am."
As far as "controlling narcissism", it really brings up the question of how to control any behavioral tendency. Of course, the first step is identification, I think. But then what do you do about it?
ReplyDeleteEvery behavior is fueled by a thought, which is fueled by a belief. Perhaps we deeply believe that no one will quite love us the way we think we need them to. Therefore we think, "This person doesn't appreciate me." Then we begin to try to get people's attention on the appreciation we think we deserve.
There are two parts to behavioral change: resisting the old behavior, and replacing it with a new one. You cannot simply create a vacuum. It's like saying, "Right now, do NOT think about a blue-eyed polar bear." It doesn't work. You need a replacement.
So what do we replace narcissism with? And what are its underlying beliefs that fuel it?
Or perhaps we are simply becoming more self-focused by thinking about our own narcissism?